Alone in a big city

Ok so here come the waterworks...just kidding, but no seriously this might get a little emotional. This my therapy for the week so if you don't like it shut the fuck up and go away. :)

Mentioning therapy its really hard to be without it sometimes. I can't afford it so I only get counseling from my school (which is free) and right now I'm not at my school, so hence, no counseling. I know that I can call them and check up with things over the phone if I need but I'm ok for now. Counseling is an expense that I will probably have to live without after college, so this is good getting used to it. besides writing and blogging helps.

Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to. Even at school I don't have any close close friends, just a few who are good friends (and put up with all my craziness) but most of them are abroad. There is one or two who are still at LFC but that hour train ride seems like a million miles away. You get caught up in this city and my schedule is so hectic (but in a very good enjoyable way). The kids in the program are all super nice and I love all my apartment mates, but I haven't really connected with any of them that well, and a lot of the time I just seem to have different interests.

And with my schedule, when do I have time to meet new people? how about never. I hardly ever talk to anyone in Wisconsin anymore. Besides my ex, I always felt like I was trying to be part of a group that I wasn't welcome in. And the one friend I know who lives in the city (Chicago)? She's a little tied up right now in her own little world (although I still love her to death). seems to me I am on my own in the big place. At times I feel very lonely, even though I know I'm not alone. I mean I'm almost literally never alone due to living with 5 other people!

I'm not depressed, I really am enjoying life, my social life is just one need of a little love. I mean this past weekend, I went to 3 different art events, and I went by myself to 2 of them because no one else wanted to go since they weren't "mandatory field trips". Although I do respect the fact that some of them would rather spend there Saturday night going out to clubs and stuff cause believe me I wish I was 21. But since I'm not I'm taking full advantage of every other opportunity.

I'm naturally a very social person so stuff like this hits me hard. I may be a little sad, but I am keeping a smile on. Peace.

Puppets!

I saw the puppet bike in action today! It was so cute and adorable! the puppets even interact with you! I watched for a few minutes, then I cautiously took out my camera to take a picture, without trying to look rude. Well apparently the puppets got the message, since one of them disappeared and then reappeared with a cell phone in hand. Not just a cell phone, a camera phone with the camera facing at me! he was mocking my picture taking! lol. I almost couldn't stop laughing my whole rest of my walk to the ACM office. Wish I could have stood there all day!

Here's a quckie for you

To learn more about the amazing organization I am interning for this semester, Erasing the Distance, watch this youtube video! :) (How hard is watching a video? come on now, really?). Peace.

Monkey Business

So I just thought this is a cool pic in general and thought it would be a good way to end the night. This is the Monkey Box (or at least that's what I think it's called?) that was parked outside the ACM CP Office:

Peace

To Milenium, and Beyond!

So on this lovely Sunday I actually managed to scrounger up the energy for two adventures! :o I know it's shocking. But in a place like this you just have to make time for everything. And as tired as I am right now, and no matter how bad my knees hurt, it was all worth it. In recent years, Millennium Park has been the highlight of Chicago, or the newest big thing. Did you know it's actually considered a rooftop garden? Yup, since there are parking structures and other things underneath, it was Chicago's way of getting funding for the project, since apparently we didn't need another park. Who doesn't need another Park? Well maybe the people in charge of money were right in some sense, Chicago is known to be might I say, VERY VERY VERY COLD, for about half the year, making parks less attractive. Since Millennium Park was built anyways, to combat this problem of a more than slow tourist season during these late winter months, They came up with a plan to get us Chicogoans outside again and enjoying the park. It's called Luminous Field, and in my opinion its a very clever and quite enjoyable art display of video and sound created by a Chicago artist all surrounding the Famous "Bean". It was pretty cool and I enjoyed seeing the different angles, but it's only good to keep your attention for about a few minutes. It is definitely something suited towards kids, who were running the the lights and stepping on the the ever changing colors with pure smiles and enjoyment and it seems they could do that endlessly. Tomorrow is the shows last night, so I took the opportunity to see it when I could. My pictures arent the best because my camera does not agree with darkness very well, but some turned out pretty cool:

Peace

Logan Squared

Chicago is an amazing city none the less, but Logan Square is an even more amazing neighborhood as I am slowly discovering. Besides the good Mexican food joints I see scattered everywhere on a daily basis, I was not seeing any other types of food around, until today that is. I knew that there are many different and amazing places to get food here, I just haven't really seeked any of them out. However, in the midst of gathering photo's for an art project I have to do, I found a strip of four restaurants, all that looked unique and intriguing, and none of them to my knowledge serve Mexican food! I was almost saddened that I had not brought my wallet, only my camera and notebook, so that I could have stopped for a late lunch. However my face lit up just as I turned the corner and saw not only the blue line station a block away (hey, I was tired from walking all over the place gathering pictures!) but the gorgeous "square" that i see as the heart of Logan Square. Its more oval shaped to say the least, and the streets function in sort of a roundabout fashion. As cold and tired as I was I decided to stop and take a few picture in this small beautiful outdoor stretch of green:

Peace

Photo Bomb! Well let's take care of a few things first.

Ok fellow readers and bloggers alike, tonight it will be about telling stories through photos, as I have many fun things to share. I've been on a few adventures lately in this city, and this blog is a place for sharing my experiences. There will be some writings along with the pictures, and just pre-warning, at some point in the near future I love to start sharing thoughts about my arts escapades and numerous projects, since that is really what this is all about. Also, since I do not want to bombard this blog with dozens upon dozens of photos, I am in the process of creating a public photo page (flickr, photobucket?)and putting a link on the side so that anyone that wants can see everything. I'll just post my favorites on here (my blog page).

Ok so before I move on, there are two little notes about my life for anyone with curious eyes:

Business: I started an internship yay! Not only do I have an internship for the semester, it's with the most amazing organization in the world (at least in my eyes!), Erasing the Distance. It's run by only 3 people, which means that hopefully I get to do a lot more cool stuff and not just be an office girl. I am hoping to learn so much from them and I am so thankful they are giving me a chance! To read more about them go to there website http://www.erasingthedistance.org/

Personal: Life is a whirlwind of chaos, a roller coaster that never ends, and very emotionally tolling! But as I try to take things as they come, not only am I single, I'm really trying to talk to people and get myself back "out" (lol) there! :P Any friends want to hook me up? I've had a major lack of meeting new people and making new friends the last 6 months or so.

Peace

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures!

I realized I never posted pics of my new apartment so here are a few for anyone not in ACM to see! There is a massive amount of food here with six people! Also a few of us had to take a trip to Chinatown for orientation and there is a pic of that too. Had a blast. good food in Chinatown. Peace.

My Emotions and My New Family

Lately, I've been trying to keep many things under control, especially my emotions. I mean simply during the day to get through things, you know? I was starting to feel slightly bottled up, and I know from past experience that keeping emotions inside for me is a not so good idea. It's just been such a whirlwind lately, that I feel like my head is spinning sometimes! And to make matters slightly worse, I made my head literally spin last night with I little but to much fun if you know what I mean. It was a good time with some new friends, but a bad way of dealing with problems.

However what has been helpful (besides blogging), is actually talking to people. who knew? I've been feeling very alone and out of place lately, and finally getting to chat with my friend Sarah (who also lives in Chicago but we only chatted online) felt so good. I mainly lashed out a bit about my now ex girlfriend and the breakup, but it was exactly what I needed. I mean it's been less than two weeks since we broke up officially but it feels like a lifetime ago. However, one person is great, but getting a second perspective is even better. So, thank my lucky stars that somehow I got talking to one of my new classmates in Chicago, and had a sad but amazing conversation about break-ups and really how hard things can be. Somewhere in there I think I got some tips on how to deal, especially with all this other change is my life.

It's official, my heart is broken, and only time and maybe my new Chicago family, will mend it.

Mentioning family, the group of Logan square kids, as we now kind of call ourselves, is planning our first Logan square family dinner tonight, at our apartment. Pasta with meat sauce, salad, veggies, garlic bread, banana bread, and my chocolate chip cookies, all with my new family sounds like a good old time.

Peace.

ps: I know I've been talking a bit about this break-up and other semi related things, but I speak whats on my mind. However, even though this blog is for my thoughts, feelings, and life things, if there is something you would like to see on here, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I would love to share my opinions on anything my readers like. You can also contact me at the numerous links on the side of my blog page, including anonymous messages at Formspring (but put in the title somewhere "blog")

6 people, one shower,

Well at least the whole one shower thing was a success this morning. we will continues to figure out a good schedule, I'm sure.

hysterically a coincidence, my new roommate is the other Emily Summers! but she is super sweet and I'm so glad she is. :)

We all stayed up a bit to late but all slept very well. Today is officially our first day of actual orientation and I think I speak for all of us when I say we are all really excited. There is some sort of city scavenger hunt today though, which I don't think us running around outside in the cold is that great. Hopefully though the weather does not seem to bad.

I am so busy I don't even have time to thin about the tragedies of late until I rest my head on my pillow at night. Sometimes I just feel like crying then, but I usually just try to get distracted in a book and forget about the world. Any suggestions on dealing with any of this? Peace.

ps: sending prayer for my papa (grandpa) today who is having knee surgery. <3

Chicago and the Chicago Tribune, cleary, all in a days work.

More like in the same week! Yes that right my lucky socks landed me in an article that ran in the Chicago Tribune on Wednesday. Coincidence that it was the same week I moved to Chitown? Maybe or maybe not.

Since I like to talk about mental health on here sometimes, (although maybe I haven't in a while?) I thought I'd share the article on here as well. It's very therapeutic in a sense for me to share parts of my story and try and make a small difference. I lie to be honest and open about my Bipolar disorder and I hope this shows how speaking up and talking about it at anytime can really help. Hope you all enjoy the read and Peace.

The Chicago Tribune is Awesome

Is this real?

Is it really February? Am I really living in Chicago? Did I really just break up with my girlfriend? Did my life really just flip upside down?

I mean its all good right? well maybe not some parts, but for the most part change is good, yes?

Anyways, I get to see my new permanent (well at least for this semester) apartment today! I don't get to move in yet but since I'm a student worker we have to go around to all the apartments and take inventory and clean and stuff. Its not so bad, especially since I have my partner in cleaning crime Emily. haha. I'm just super excited to see what it looks like!

This semester , although I'm anticipating it to be hard, will also be so much fun for me. I am embracing this semi fresh start here, and I already know that I can't wait for graduation so I can move back to this amazing city. This city is definitely real I know that much. Peace.