Alone in a big city

Ok so here come the waterworks...just kidding, but no seriously this might get a little emotional. This my therapy for the week so if you don't like it shut the fuck up and go away. :)

Mentioning therapy its really hard to be without it sometimes. I can't afford it so I only get counseling from my school (which is free) and right now I'm not at my school, so hence, no counseling. I know that I can call them and check up with things over the phone if I need but I'm ok for now. Counseling is an expense that I will probably have to live without after college, so this is good getting used to it. besides writing and blogging helps.

Sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to. Even at school I don't have any close close friends, just a few who are good friends (and put up with all my craziness) but most of them are abroad. There is one or two who are still at LFC but that hour train ride seems like a million miles away. You get caught up in this city and my schedule is so hectic (but in a very good enjoyable way). The kids in the program are all super nice and I love all my apartment mates, but I haven't really connected with any of them that well, and a lot of the time I just seem to have different interests.

And with my schedule, when do I have time to meet new people? how about never. I hardly ever talk to anyone in Wisconsin anymore. Besides my ex, I always felt like I was trying to be part of a group that I wasn't welcome in. And the one friend I know who lives in the city (Chicago)? She's a little tied up right now in her own little world (although I still love her to death). seems to me I am on my own in the big place. At times I feel very lonely, even though I know I'm not alone. I mean I'm almost literally never alone due to living with 5 other people!

I'm not depressed, I really am enjoying life, my social life is just one need of a little love. I mean this past weekend, I went to 3 different art events, and I went by myself to 2 of them because no one else wanted to go since they weren't "mandatory field trips". Although I do respect the fact that some of them would rather spend there Saturday night going out to clubs and stuff cause believe me I wish I was 21. But since I'm not I'm taking full advantage of every other opportunity.

I'm naturally a very social person so stuff like this hits me hard. I may be a little sad, but I am keeping a smile on. Peace.