jump

Jump. Jumping. Jumpy. I feel jumpy a lot, Sometimes from my anxiety, but sometimes in a good way. but I'm always looking to jump, im always jumping right on the train to the next thing. Ive spent a lot of time in the last year reflecting on my life so far and making ever effort to be in the moment, live in the moment. it part of a very contradictory personality. on the one side, i'm a true gemini, i love the experience of things, everything stimulates me and it promotes that "in the moment" way of things. On the other hand, im a type A personality with an anxiety disorder. I worry. a lot. and think about the future. a lot. it wasnt a month after i moved into this apartment and i was aready thinking about where I would be next year, because i want to move to the west coast? but is that so bad? can't there be a balance? I think I'm very conflicted this fall. parts of my life are so perfect. i love my job, and i like my roomate. very "right now" things that are good. on the other hand i don't like living where i live (not the town, just northern illinois as a whole). so it makes me think about how do i change it? I've got a long hard road ahead of me next year, with 2016 being only three weeks away but im trying not to dwell on it, I think for right now, i will enjoy the warm holiday smell of homemade chex mix my roomate so kindly made and enjoy a nice christmas movie.