Well obviously I don't expect her or anyone to call me at this hour. Well not anymore at least, but Anna Nalick has good music for this time of night. In high school however I used to be that girl who answered the phone at any time of night to the friend whose crisis made them think it was the end of the world as we knew it. In a sense I still am that person. I still sleep with my phone right next to me or under my pillow on vibrate, and my current friends know that I am always there for them. I think maybe my college friends have less crisis's than my high school ones.
Ok so this post may turn into a jumble of sorts, because it is literally about 330am and I for some reason cannot sleep. My body nor my mind does not want to rest tonight. I do wish I could fall asleep, but I though heck, what better time to write a new blog entry? better than the possibly drunken emails I may or may not have sent 2 weeks ago...
...so when I said "her" earlier i was indeed referring to a particular person. I think I may have talked about her before, maybe a bit to much :) However i can now say that this someone is now an official part of my life (for now) as she is now my girlfriend. She makes me so happy and I hope that I do the same for her. But relating back to phone calling point, I literally know that she would probably never call me at this hour, as she is never awake this late due to her intense need for sleep. Seriously this girl might be busier than I am with her school and work. But if she ever found the need to call, I would answer.
The word happy gave me this strong urge to talk about my mood lately, as this is a place where I like to express my feelings. It honestly just makes me feel so much better to talk about whats going on in my head, and when I can't talk to someone, the best alternative is to write about it. Anyways back on track, my mood has been pretty decent lately. I don't want to jinx it but I think I might finally be getting out of my depressive episode that's been latched to me since last winter. The last month or two have been pleasant, and even though I still often get stressed, and have had a few bouts of utter confusion, I am at least a tiny bit happier with my life than I was before. The only part that still dragging me down is my family situation, but that story is for another post another time. What is now worrying me however is that winter is approaching again, and even when my demeanor is at its best its drops a notch during these dreary months, and with it not currently being at its prime, its susceptible to dropping many notches.
I think I will try as always to just take it one day at a time. For reasons I can't really say, my girlfriend unknowingly reminds me sometimes to live in the moment and at this moment I think I am finally getting sleepy. All I can hope for and ask for is that things stay positive. A final note, I may not want to over think the future, but can I dwell on the recent past, like maybe the 3 soda's i drank at 10pm have something to do with me being awake? Goodnight and hope I made sense. Peace.
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