My post is short and sweet today. Extra sweet like the Koogle and banana bread I made this lovely Sunday. Note to self, and the world, adding Koogle to my list of Jewish food adventures. Onto other news...
I am in love. Sighs. She is genorous. She is brave. She is sweet. And I love her.
Peace.
Showing posts with label Lesbian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lesbian. Show all posts
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Dating, part -1 (negative 1)
Why is dating so complicated? maybe when its complicated its not right? I also truly believe I'm making it complicated. Some people just want simple, and maybe I don't know how to do that. I understand I am very type A personality, I don't like last minute, i don't like not knowing, and its frustrating when its not obvious. It's a challenge that, on my good days, I love it. But on my bad days I can't deal.
I think i am also very scared of simple. The last time I did simple, no definition, go with the flow, it almost destroyed me. And it had a lot to do with that particular person, that person almost destroyed me, and people who knew both of us would agree. I'm to blame for some of it yes, and I was in no place, a bad place, to be doing that kind of thing.
There' one girl in particular I can't figure out for the life of me. She scares me. I need to realize that shes not the "person" from my past. She wants simple. and it scares me.
At this point that one may have fizzled out anyways, I hope not, I'm definitely still interested, I just don't know if she is. I may have screwed it up with mislead intentions...woops.
But then again can't we make our own rules? just to have companionship, and a cuddle buddy, and be there for each other every once in a while when we need someone? In theory, that sounds amazing to me, but what happens when only one person wants more? I don't know if outside of theory, I could actually handle it. one part of my brain says hell yes, and the other says hell no. I want that kind of friendship/relationship back so badly, but is it good for me?
writing has helped, I needed to tell someone and I feel like I have no one to tell. no one to scream at that I am fucking lost. I'm an honest dater, and you get 100% me all the time. However, the "me" you get can change weekly or daily,that comes with the territory, and I don't try to hide it.
I want someone who can deal with ALL OF THAT, and still just be my cuddle buddy, with movies and kisses and hugs and maybe nothing more? we will get to that later. If you deal with me part time, you still have to deal with all of me. Sorry not sorry for keeping it real.
I think i am also very scared of simple. The last time I did simple, no definition, go with the flow, it almost destroyed me. And it had a lot to do with that particular person, that person almost destroyed me, and people who knew both of us would agree. I'm to blame for some of it yes, and I was in no place, a bad place, to be doing that kind of thing.
There' one girl in particular I can't figure out for the life of me. She scares me. I need to realize that shes not the "person" from my past. She wants simple. and it scares me.
At this point that one may have fizzled out anyways, I hope not, I'm definitely still interested, I just don't know if she is. I may have screwed it up with mislead intentions...woops.
But then again can't we make our own rules? just to have companionship, and a cuddle buddy, and be there for each other every once in a while when we need someone? In theory, that sounds amazing to me, but what happens when only one person wants more? I don't know if outside of theory, I could actually handle it. one part of my brain says hell yes, and the other says hell no. I want that kind of friendship/relationship back so badly, but is it good for me?
writing has helped, I needed to tell someone and I feel like I have no one to tell. no one to scream at that I am fucking lost. I'm an honest dater, and you get 100% me all the time. However, the "me" you get can change weekly or daily,that comes with the territory, and I don't try to hide it.
I want someone who can deal with ALL OF THAT, and still just be my cuddle buddy, with movies and kisses and hugs and maybe nothing more? we will get to that later. If you deal with me part time, you still have to deal with all of me. Sorry not sorry for keeping it real.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Lesbian Films
So I have realized lately that I am semi short on friends who I can talk to regarding certain subjects. We all have those friends, the foodie who is the first person you think of when you find a great recipe or want to go to a new restaurant. Or the friend that you go to when you need advice, because they love to give advice. I mean yes we hang out with these people at other times and for other reasons too, but you know what I mean. Anyways so I feel like (well I know) I used to have one or two friends that I would talk to about lesbian culture, or at least conversations surrounding "that girls hot" and the other person would completely understand, because they were um lesbians, lezbe honest. :) I mean I actually have a good number of gay guy friends, of which I can talk about a whole range of general GLBTQ topics and they'll be happy to chat lightly. However as soon as I bring up a girl (except for the one bi guy), girl problems, lesbians, women, vaginas or anything related to any of those there all like "ew gross, peace out, I got other people to talk to"
Anywho, I've lost touch with a few people over the last year, year and a half, and I watch this film tonight, about lesbians, and I am racking my brain. I gots no lesbian whose gonna wanna listen to me talk about it, or that I am close enough to to tell about it or have that type of conversation without it being akward. So here I am telling you all instead, and if any les or bi girl reads this, feel free to comment ;)
So back to the film, it's called Molly's Girl, came out back in 2011, nothing mainstream, just something I came across under Netflix's Gay and Lesbian Movies section. To be honest, I really was in the mood to watch like a sappy romantic lesbian love story, albeit there are not very many to choose from on netflix, and this film was not really that at all, but I took a gamble. I recognized one of the actresses names, Kristina Valada-Viars but couldn't figure out where I knew it from. it took me a good seven minutes at least of watching this girl before I figured it out. I met her! I could not believe I had met her. Back in early 2012, I went and saw her in a play at the Steppenwolf (for which I truly appreciated her role, it was very good! Play "Time Stands Still") and then I got to meet her when she came and talked to my arts seminar class. Now mind you, there were 5 total students in the class, so I was not staring at a guest lecturer, no we had actual conversations simply about life. I'm a theater girl myself and I don't know why it was so hard for me to make the connection simply because it crossed the line from theater to film. I had only known her in the theater context, and I believe she is pretty successful there, so it didn't cross my mind. I'm glad I did remember though, because it only made me like her acting and her as an actress more. The film, I'd say its cute, its somewhere between okay and good in my book, but thats mostly related to the plot being ehhh. maybe its because it wasn't satisfying what I was in the mood for, and I would have enjoyed it more otherwise. However, I really did like her acting and she made it funny and more enjoyable the way her and the other main character played off each other.
So it wasn't even really that I wanted to gush about her or her acting in a lesbian way I guess. She is very pretty, but in the same way I think many other celebrities and actresses are pretty. It's more that I got stupidly excited over the fact that I had met an actress in a movie I was watching, a professional movie. I mean wouldn't anyone get excited about that? and on top of that it was a lesbian film which just makes it all the more exciting, at least to me. So there's my gush. If you go see any shows in Chicago and happen to catch this girl on stage, your lucky and in for a treat.
Peace - Sam
Anywho, I've lost touch with a few people over the last year, year and a half, and I watch this film tonight, about lesbians, and I am racking my brain. I gots no lesbian whose gonna wanna listen to me talk about it, or that I am close enough to to tell about it or have that type of conversation without it being akward. So here I am telling you all instead, and if any les or bi girl reads this, feel free to comment ;)
So back to the film, it's called Molly's Girl, came out back in 2011, nothing mainstream, just something I came across under Netflix's Gay and Lesbian Movies section. To be honest, I really was in the mood to watch like a sappy romantic lesbian love story, albeit there are not very many to choose from on netflix, and this film was not really that at all, but I took a gamble. I recognized one of the actresses names, Kristina Valada-Viars but couldn't figure out where I knew it from. it took me a good seven minutes at least of watching this girl before I figured it out. I met her! I could not believe I had met her. Back in early 2012, I went and saw her in a play at the Steppenwolf (for which I truly appreciated her role, it was very good! Play "Time Stands Still") and then I got to meet her when she came and talked to my arts seminar class. Now mind you, there were 5 total students in the class, so I was not staring at a guest lecturer, no we had actual conversations simply about life. I'm a theater girl myself and I don't know why it was so hard for me to make the connection simply because it crossed the line from theater to film. I had only known her in the theater context, and I believe she is pretty successful there, so it didn't cross my mind. I'm glad I did remember though, because it only made me like her acting and her as an actress more. The film, I'd say its cute, its somewhere between okay and good in my book, but thats mostly related to the plot being ehhh. maybe its because it wasn't satisfying what I was in the mood for, and I would have enjoyed it more otherwise. However, I really did like her acting and she made it funny and more enjoyable the way her and the other main character played off each other.
So it wasn't even really that I wanted to gush about her or her acting in a lesbian way I guess. She is very pretty, but in the same way I think many other celebrities and actresses are pretty. It's more that I got stupidly excited over the fact that I had met an actress in a movie I was watching, a professional movie. I mean wouldn't anyone get excited about that? and on top of that it was a lesbian film which just makes it all the more exciting, at least to me. So there's my gush. If you go see any shows in Chicago and happen to catch this girl on stage, your lucky and in for a treat.
Peace - Sam
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